Reflect and Rest

My mind is the type which never stays quiet. I'm the type of person who worries endlessly about tiny things which don't really matter & I will think things through over + over again. Why? It's a personality type I guess. I know a lot of people who are similar. Having this mind constantly on the go I don't seem to get time to reflect on things. I'm not very good at resting either for the same reasons. But tonight, as I sit here typing away when I've been sleeping all day, is time for reflection.

Lately I have been asked 'so what are you doing now?' or 'what have you been up to?'. I've had old friends from school who I've bumped into, who are nearly finished uni or have jobs now. However, some are still not on the path they wish to be on. Some are looking for jobs. Some are just 'plodding along'. And some, like me, have had some unexpected twists in their paths. 

It's not until I start with my list that I realise just how much I've achieved. People seem amazed by my journey, where I was viewing it as I hadn't reached my destination yet. I don't even know myself where my destination is in all honesty, but I guess that's life, finding yourself.

So here's my list, top 5 things I've achieved whilst being ill:
  1. Getting my associate in ballet teaching. This allowed me to fulfil my dream of becoming a dance teacher. One which I thought was unlikely to come true even when I was well.
  2. Staying in education. Yep, I'm still doing my a levels, but hanging on in there for 5 years is pretty decent. Discovered many new talents and opportunities on the way too.
  3. Volunteering. I have over 1,700h voluntary work now and I mentor new leaders. I absolutely love what I do & I made some amazing friends from it too.
  4. Discovering myself. Although this one is not yet complete, I have discovered new talents and love for things which I never thought I would. I didn't have a clue I could sing, or draw, or do textiles.
  5. Proving people wrong. I can't count the number of times I've been told 'you can't do this' 'you won't be able to do that' 'you're too ill for x/y/z' and almost every time I've proved them wrong. I've become pretty good at adapting to situations and challenges now.
I think it's important for everyone to recognise their achievements once in awhile. Also, seeing things in a different manner helps too, after all, it's not about the destination - it's the journey.

'Comparison is the thief of joy'. I believe this is one of the most negative and demoting things which can happen. You have your own journey. Chances are, your destination isn't the same either. So why say 'oh she has done this' or 'I have done that'. Trying to be 'better' than someone doesn't necessarily matter. Jealousy is a horrible thing, and I make friends with those who are thankful and proud of everything you do. As long as you're happy with where you are and how you're doing, there's no need to compare. Just reflect on your journey and focus on what you want to achieve.

Never dim anyone else's light so you can shine. Just shine.

Enough for today, please, if you read this, take 5 minutes away from your smartphone/laptop and think of all the things you have achieved and are thankful for. It will do your mind the world of good.

Kate x

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